Forthcoming e-book on the M-Generation

Some of you know my work as a behavioral psychologist and a public involvement consultant. What you may not know is that I have known for some time that  the day would come when I, as a “Baby Boomer” (born 1950), would have to figure out how to work with the M-Generation.  I realized this as I witnessed the M-Generation evolve into the complex people they are, and I foresaw the trials and tribulations that lay ahead for all of us

We typically think of this generation as being born in the early 1980s through about the year 2000. Had I had a child, he/she would have been of this generation. I have often wondered if I his/her Mother and I would have passed along our values and work ethic. Would we have succumbed to being the “helicopter parents” that so many of this generation have, or would we have focused more on our own values from our generation  where we had to “pay the dues”?

In my forthcoming e-book, you will find my research, my observations, and my explanation of what you can expect as you  behaviorally work with this M-Generation or “The Millennials”. I believe that there are significant trials ahead for all of us, yet I remain optimistic.

Now, before any of you condemn me for my directness in my assessments, let me note these are general characteristics. No one set of traits applies to all members of the M-Generation, just as they did not all apply to the Baby Boomers of the “Love and Peace” era. Also, I note in sidebars research that  some individual cases contradict some of the basic generalizations. You choose to use the data and observations as you wish as you develop your own path to learning how to work productively with the Millennials.

Many of you Baby Boomers and GenXers are going to find, as I did, that we have quite a task on our hands when it comes to integrating this generation into our workforces. The challenge is on both sides of the proverbial coin, and we must agree amongst ourselves that we will meet these issues and deal with them effectively.

It will not be easy because Millennials will need to understand that they also will have to adapt to our expectations and learn from our experiences.

Whether you are a Baby Boomer or a GenXer, I recommend that you learn to work smarter by understanding the M-Generation and by understanding that we will not change their some of their relatively fixed and permanent behaviors and traits.

They were raised this way.  Some of us must accept some of that responsibility.  We thought the idea that everyone should get an “award” for just showing up, even if it was not on time, was a good thing.  We were seeking to eliminate negativity in their lives and promote feelings of self worth.  But the pendulum maybe swung too far.  As Pogo, the famous cartoon character once famously said, “We have met the enemy, and they are us!”

On the other hand, most Millenials do want to feel that they are doing good work.  Although many of them grew up with constant positive reinforcement, we don’t have to give praise when praise is not due.  What we can and must do is communicate with them early and often. Clearly articulating our expectations (in writing and verbally), as well as the consequences of not meeting them, is “where it’s at”.  Constructive feedback consistently given can help them understand that we want them to succeed just as their parents did, but we will not coddle them.

We must choose our fights and be willing to negotiate with these young people.  We will have to be up front about where are willing to negotiate and where we are not willing to negotiate.  Listen to them, learn from them, but insist that they give us the same courtesy.

It’s important to define sensible, well articulated, and mutually agreed upon boundaries, standards, and expectations for these new hires to live up to and abide by.  If we do not do this, they will flounder and even fail.  No one wins in this scenario.

However, if we learn how to adapt and get what we need from the M-Generation, they can be productive and contribute to our workplace.

Once we negotiate a balance between “challenge” and “accommodation,” we can negotiate with the Millennials to focus on releasing the exceptional gifts and talents that their generation can bring to the workplace.

Most importantly:

• We must keep learning, observing and rewarding as Dr. Phil McGraw says, “the good behavior.”
  • However, If they come into work late, we must have negotiated on the front-end with them the consequences of this  behavior and then enact the “negotiated corrective behavior”.
• We will be challenged to stay resilient and flexible in our management.
  • When they question our expertise and experience, our instructions or focus, our understanding of internal organizational politics, we should ask their opinions and listen to learn and understand.  Yet we should  ensure they realize that we have no obligation whatsoever to take their advice or counsel.

• We must make sure they know there are consequences to going over the chain of command.
  • This generation will not hesitate to go to the CEO or President without your approval or counsel. They “feel” entitled to advance their perspectives and agenda whether you agree with it or not, especially if they “feel” they are “right,” “just” or have a “better way of doing things.”

• We must maintain a sense of humor.
  • Listen, didn’t every Baby Boomer and GenXer also think and feel we could change the world?  Some of our “fresh” and “new” approaches were at times humorous, if not even ridiculous, because we did not understand the organizational processes or politics. Being able to laugh at the absurdity of our own life experiences can help us keep our perspective.
• We must find a way to center ourselves and remain calm. “Keep calm and carry on”, as the British say.  It worked in the second world war!
  • For our own sanity and well-being, we must decide the best way to stay sane in this process. After all, this generation is caretaking us in our retirement!

We will announce the release of the new e-book in a few days. Stay tuned.

http://www.ldarrylarmstrong.com

1.888.340.2006

ldarrylarmstrong@gmail.com

@doctordarry

L. Darryl Armstrong – June 2017

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Part 7 – The Millennials are different; use those differences to your organization’s benefit

 

Remember what we have learned from the previous articles about the sociological and psychological make-ups of Millennials?  Primarily, this generation has certain behavioral traits and expectations that are well ingrained based on their parental and societal upbringing. Their definition of a “sense of satisfaction” can be defined in three specific ways:

 

• They seek to “make a difference” in the world, as many of us did. However, they will engage with anyone at any level who can or will help them accomplish this outcome. Their social, supervisory and management skills are influenced by their technology rather than day-to-day social interactions.  Therefore, they can be lacking in social and interpersonal skills.
• They want to make a “real contribution” to an employer’s mission, vision and strategies. But they need to believe in the organization’s mission, vision and values.  To engage them, you (the manager) must clearly articulate and explain your expectations,  how you will measure their accomplishments, and clearly state what is not allowed behaviorally;
• They want to be “innovators”, leading their organizations to do things smarter, faster and better than anyone else. And they believe that they are the only ones who can do it.

 

As Boomers and Xers, “realistic and pragmatic survivors” of the real business world, we have become skeptics and cynics in many regards. We have survived many social, economic, and political situations that the Millennial cannot even conceive of. Although 60% of the future work force will be Millennials, there are still plenty of Boomers and GenXers in management positions who will do the hiring. It behooves us all to figure out how to work together.

 

On the positive side, Millennials can be:

• True believers in organizations and businesses where they work, if they see opportunities to accomplish “their needs and meet their ambitions”.
• Ambition is good. The flip side of this is that they believe they know much more about their (and often your) field of expertise than you do.
• Desirous of global work experience – they cherish it, but remember that they will often need to be coached and counseled in diplomacy and process.
• Technology savvy. They embrace the available gigabytes of processing power and interconnectivity because it affords channels of technological collaboration.
• They have energy to burn.

 

As we learn to appreciate what the Millennials can offer, we need to understand that most Millennials will not last much longer than 3-5 years with any organization. They expect to change jobs many times, perhaps 5-10 times, in their lives.   Choosing to leave the company for greater challenges and go “where they are appreciated and can fulfill their needs and ambitions” doesn’t mean that they are not valuable during their time with us.  Just don’t expect them to be there for the long haul.

 

The evolved Millennial sees each new job as an opportunity and learning experience in the building blocks of their resume and life.

 

Some of the insecurity and angst of Boomers and GenXers comes from the fact that many of the M-Generation would take our jobs tomorrow, if offered, because it simply looks like fun. It doesn’t take them long to feel that they have learned all they need to learn in their current position. It’s nothing personal; it’s just the way they think.

 

Grunt work, teamwork, and collaboration with other generations are interesting to them only if they can do so technologically. So utilize this to the fullest degree.

 

We are not saying that it will be easy for us Boomers and GenXers to work with Millennials. Yet it can be accomplished…with members of the M-Generation who are open to mentoring, coaching and counseling by the “old gray hairs.”

 

If we can tap into the fact that The Millennials truly want to “make a difference” by tackling big issues within our organizations such as poverty, environmental cleanup, best practices in management, or environmental sustainability, we can gain their respect and better utilize their talents.

 

Innovation, especially in the areas of digital communication and technology, is what they seek.  This is where they shine.  We need to acknowledge and appreciate this while also making sure that they allow us to guide them in understanding social and management style differences.  Getting along with each other and respecting our different generational styles can only help us all achieve what we want to achieve. Let them have free rein in innovating to a certain point, but make it very clear that “they” must respect (as “we” will) social and management style differences so that we can all just “get along” for the greater good. They will need coaching and mentoring in face-to-face social skills and we owe it to them to help them develop in this area.

 

There are several things that we can do to satisfy the particular kind of meaning that Millennials wants to feel in their work.

 

First, Millennials want to be heard.

 

Like it or not, Millennials have ideas and opinions about the organization from day one.  They want their ideas about the mission, the work, and the way to get things done to be taken seriously.

 

The traditional response in many organizations, “This is just the way it is done around here” simply opens the door to them to give you their alternatives, opinions, ideas, and suggestions in an unproductive way.

 

I recommend you be prepared to capture their ideas and suggestions, because you might just learn something from their insight that benefits everyone and improves your project.

 

The need to be heard is not unique to just this generation.

 

Everyone wants to be heard and taken seriously. What makes Millennials different from other generations is that they want to be heard from day one before they have earned the privilege in the eyes of their older colleagues. We waited… until we had gained experience, or understood the project, or had the gravitas to deal with the political, community, management or organizational implications of the situation…before we expected to be heard.

 

The good news is that research shows they are less concerned about whether their ideas are accepted or not. They simply want the opportunity to speak.

 

We recommend that you make it a consistent behavior to ask your M-Generation new hire what she thinks about an idea or an issue under discussion. Remember you are under no obligation to act on her ideas or comments. However, listen enough and closely, and you actually may hear something insightful and valuable and worthy of integration.

 

The new hire will feel fully engaged simply because you asked for her input. And who amongst us doesn’t appreciate being asked?

 

Millennials also want to hear from you, and they want it immediately – not in annual service reviews.

 

These folks need and want more feedback about their work so that they know they are making positive contributions. We all feel this way regardless of our generation; however, Millennials want immediate, as in “right now”, feedback not just annually but daily in some cases. This will be tiring and even exhausting yet this is what our research shows.

 

Those of us in the older generations are generally content with feedback through structured reviews with supervisors periodically throughout the year. For Millennials, though, feedback based on clearly defined and explained expectations should follow closely on particular projects or accomplishments. If you think about it, this makes a certain amount of sense.

 

So, “chill”, all you Boomers and Xers, you don’t have to follow these new hires around all day, reviewing every little task they complete.   Rather, integrate and adopt the consistent behavior of offering the Millennial brief evaluative comments in the midst of his work and pointing out how his efforts relate to the larger mission and vision.

 

Another thing to remember is that Millennials want to express themselves through their work and will do so often very creatively.

 

Boomers and Xers have placed greater emphasis on accomplishment as the primary means of self-expression. For Millennials, how they do their work is just as expressive as what they accomplish.

 

Expect to hear them say “what an awesome” job they have done because they believe their accomplishments are “awesome”.

 

The authors of The M-Factor note this is a generation with an intuitive sense of “personal branding.” Sure, everyone has an iPhone they say, but no one has an iPhone case just like mine.

 

Being unique and being noticed are powerful motivators for Millennials. One way to do this is to give them room to put their own creative stamp on their work, whether it is the décor of their workspace or the design of a newsletter.

 

Another way is to let them own something, a project or responsibility, which is fully in their control and means a great deal to them. Proceed very cautiously and allow them opportunity to grow one small project at a time.

 

In conclusion, we have examined Millennials and their expectations about the workplace from several different viewpoints:

 

• Their relationship with their parents;
• Their sense of entitlement;
• Their need for speed and connectivity to the wired world;
• And their desire for meaning of their work and life.

 

For each of these areas, we have offered insight and ideas for “negotiating” through the challenges and taking advantage of the opportunities we will face in working with The M-Generation.

 

To be most effective at this interaction, and to supervise them, we must work smarter by understanding the unique and different behaviors and traits that are relatively fixed and permanent in this generation.

 

Don’t waste your time or their time asking how to change them. Accept their strengths and weaknesses for what they are. Realistically consider what behaviors you choose to challenge and what behaviors you will accommodate, and then make it absolutely clear what your expectations are.  Be prepared to negotiate with them.

 

It’s important to define sensible, well-articulated, and mutually understood boundaries, standards and expectations for these new hires to live up to and abide by.

 

However, it’s equally important to learn how to adapt to what they want and need, if they are to be productive in the workplace.

 

Once you negotiate a balance between challenge and accommodation, you must then negotiate with the Millennials to focus on releasing the exceptional gifts and talents that the generation can bring to the work place.

 

Most importantly, as the authors of The M-Factor summarize in their practical wisdom:

• Keep learning.
• Stay resilient and flexible.
• Maintain a sense of humor.
• Find a way to center yourself and remain calm.

 

This generation will bring unique talents to the work place. Find the time and patience to utilize them.

 

END

 

Who are these people called the Millenials?

“The best crisis to manage is the one you prevent,” Dr. L. Darryl Armstrong speaking to the National Association of Environmental Professionals

You are hiring, like it or not, many members of the Millennial generation (The M-Generation). Most likely you are either a “Baby Boomer” or a “GenXer” doing the hiring. You are thinking that these people must not have grown up in the same world that you did. You think to yourself, we may have a crisis developing, and you have no idea why. You would be right in both assumptions.

Although some of what you read here will seem negative, try to maintain an open-mind. This description of the M-Generation is intended to be helpful and will show you how research and understanding is evolving to help us all better understand this generation.

Dealing with the M-Generation will be challenging, yet successful employers recognize the importance of learning as much about this generation as possible. Like it or not, they will be reshaping our world because by 2020 they will be 60% of our work force.

The basis of this series of six articles comes from the research, including “The M- Factor: How the Millennial Generation is Rocking the Workplace” by Lynne C. Lancaster and David Stillman (Harper Collins, 2010) and from the Internet site PWC’s report Millennials in the Work Place – Reshaping the World. We also have integrated the work from other consultants who specialize in the M-Generation and work with them daily.

Perhaps, just perhaps, if you get better informed about the M-Generation, you can prevent a major crisis from developing, or at the least, better understand how to deal with the crisis when it does. The idea is to understand and utilize the particular talents of the M-Generation because you will be hiring and/or working with people who have unique characteristics and challenging behaviors for years to come.

As a behavioral psychologist, I am fascinated by people’s behaviors and their responses to behaviors. The behaviors I see being exhibited by the M-Generation and the responses from the Baby Boomers and Gen X folks provide an extra dose of fascination.

Millennials are anyone of the 76 million young people who were born between 1982 and 2000. They are entering the work force at a rapid pace, and they are being hired by managers between the ages of 40 and 65 (the “Baby- Boomers” and “GenXers”). The hiring managers are somewhat bewildered by the people they are hiring, as well as learning that transitioning this generation into the work environment is rarely without issue and can be crisis inducing.

Why are there such generational differences between these three groups? Let’s look at the differences in the M-Generation’s cultural and historical memories. Just as World War II was only a textbook to those of us who grew up in the 1960s and 70s, the Vietnam War was is only a textbook memory to the M-Generation.

In our generation, we were just beginning to enjoy the benefits of such advanced technology as pocket transistor radios; the M-Generation is technologically savvy beyond any of our wildest expectations. Just stop and ask yourself, whom did you call to program your VCR just a few years ago?

I would suggest that there are three significant questions we must answer and understand to work with the M-generation:

• How do they see their world and how do they process the information they see?
• How do they expect and choose to operate in the world of work and why?
• What do they expect to receive from their work and what do they perceive as rewards?

Research, surveys and analyses by many people more experienced than I am suggest that the good news is there are answers to some of these questions. The bad news is that many of our generation can’t relate to those answers and the M-Generation perspectives.

Some key findings to be sensitive to when dealing with the M-Generation:

• They will share information of all types and of depth across many different platforms and with many different people – discretion is not part of their typical vocabulary;
• They require – read – must have – personalized attention;
• They must be always winning and be recognized for even coming to work on time;
• They use a variety of social media and social networking, unlike any generation previously, and their knowledge and use of this technology can be impactful to an organization, as well as society at large;
• They are talented in certain areas of endeavors and less so in others;
• They are critical and don’t hesitate to voice their views and opinions.

Seniority and your feelings are irrelevant to many of the M-Generation. For example, they may understand how to use Microsoft Power Point, yet invariably would explain to you how to use Apple iPhoto to get better results on the presentation that you spent hours on developing.

They have trouble dealing with lines of authority, and command positions are simply irrelevant to many of them. In fact, they would without hesitation go straight to a CEO and argue their case against a change in the organization’s protocols without your knowledge.

And their parents, well, they also can be an issue. Fathers and mothers (think “Helicopter” parents) of the M-Generation have been known to reprimand employers at social engagements over incidents their children just mentioned in passing to them.

Now, having laid this foundation, allow me to caveat it by saying not all M-Generation people are of this ilk.  However, research and experience show these generalizations are not that far from the reality of their behaviors in the work place. So then, how do we deal with the M-Generation at work?

As Dorothy said in the Wizard of Oz, “Toto, I don’t think we are in Kansas anymore!

Next: Part 2 – How do we deal with the M-Generation in our work place?

 

Sources: The M- Factor: How the Millennial Generation is Rocking the Workplace” by Lynne C. Lancaster and David Stillman (Harper Collins, 2010)

 

PWC.Com – Millenials in the Work Place – Reshaping the World https://www.pwc.com/gx/en/managing-tomorrows-people/future-of-work/assets/reshaping-the-workplace.pdf

 

Part 2: How to deal effectively with the M-Generation

Part 2: How to deal effectively with the M-Generation

In Part One of this series, we gave some general behavioral insights into the M-Generation, the people born between 1982-2000, who are currently entering the work place. In this article, we will look at the common characteristics that further define this generation and how to effectively deal with them.

As Baby Boomers and GenXers, our parents invariably worked hard and often long hours to provide us a better life. Parental involvement was limited, and our parents trusted us to our teachers and coaches, pastors and Sunday school teachers.

Parents came to ballgames, plays and special events. We knew that if the principal or teacher called our folks because of our unruly behavior during or even after school, we would suffer the consequences, and, yes, there would be some parental involvement at that juncture! This parental involvement did not include blaming any one else for our misdeeds. We were expected to accept responsibility for our behavior or accept the consequence.

Enter the “Helicopter Parent”

However, in the last 30 years, we have seen a major shift in the parental role as parents have become more involved socially and educationally with their children.  As a result of this era of “parents being the child’s friend”, the parent is no longer in a role of authority in their children’s eyes.

Millenials became their parents’ “colleagues” and “associates”, and with the proliferation of the cell phone, the kids were never far from the “nest” of the parents. So, enters the “helicopter” parent, and the parents, in many cases, enjoy this relationship because psychologist say it “gives them more meaningful lives”  and therefore they don’t choose to or want to “push the child out of the nest.”

The Millennials are fine with this because they are not seeking or striving for independence in many cases. Educators and others have observed this trend for years. Yes, it is the M-Generation that chose to live in their parent’s basements as long as possible while finding themselves and their calling whereas the Baby Boomers fought for and sought early independence from their parents the Millennials prefer the security of the nest.

Teachers, and counselors in some cases, have appreciated more parental involvement, if it was not “too much”. Employers, on the other hand, frankly have little to no interest in parents “helicoptering” their Millennial employees.

“Sadly, it is increasingly common for employers to receive phone calls from a parent wanting to discuss problems or a disappointment their (adult) child has had at work says.” Lynne C. Lancaster and David Stillman, authors of The M- Factor: How the Millennial Generation is Rocking the Workplace” (Harper Collins, 2010).

Employers have even reported that Millenials have told them they have asked their “Mom or Dad as their colleague” to review their work or even do it for them. Just like they did in school and sadly, in this author’s opinion, many parents do so. These same parents maintain even more control of the M-Generation often by paying their bills, buying them cars, food or clothes and taking care of their children because after all these children are the “grandchildren” the Boomers and Gen-Xers always wanted.

Lancaster and Stillman note that one of the bigger surprises experienced in the work place is when the new hire millennial shares some feedback from a parent, who happens to be a senior vice president at a similar company. This feedback about how the parent could do things better, if they were in charge, is not solicited or appreciated by the employer.

Simply, the M-Generation view their parents as valuable resources whose counsel and input will be as vital for their work life as it was when they were students. When you hire a millennial, you will get the parents as part of the bargain, whether you like it or not.

Initially, I thought this was hyperbole or outrageous complaining until I actually observed such behavior from a member of my own extended family. Since I left home at age 17 and paid my way through college, I found this enabling behavior to be an antithesis to my idea of maturity, healthy self-reliance, and productivity.  I would dare to say that much of society feels the same way. But then, apparently there are a lot of helicopter parents who do not.

However, based on my own observations and research, I recommend that you forget about trying to change this perspective, or debate with the new hire (or their parents). Whether this perspective and behavior is appropriate, healthy, or mature is irrelevant to them. The reality is you must accept the fact that this “parental helicoptering” and the M-Generation’s social behaviors are now at least 20 years into solidification, and you are not likely to change that perspective anytime soon.

There are strategies, however, that can be deployed to deal with this M-Generation behavior. One is to articulate and clearly establish boundaries up front in the working relationship regarding your feelings about parental involvement.

For example, personnel records, including performance reviews, are generally considered organizationally confidential and are not open for discussion with anyone other than the employee and her supervisors. This is a distinct and most appropriate boundary that you should clarify to a new hire in case his parent wants to explore his child’s experience at your company.

However, some researchers say it might also help to understand the close relationship Millenials have with their parents by viewing it the same way they do – as an asset when it comes to “reflection” on work place issues.

Remember these Millennials are products of parental engagement. They have been sharing and processing their experiences with their parents from the earliest of ages.

If your new M-Generation employees seemingly have this kind of relationship with their parents, encourage them to involve their parents in reflection on their profession, roles, responsibilities and chosen vocation. Do not, however, allow them to think that you and the parents will be having this kind of relationship.

Remember that Millennials don’t readily grasp the concept of confidentiality, especially in conversation with their parents. Therefore, it is important to provide them clearly articulated and well-defined guidelines on what kind of information is inappropriate for such conversations.

Lancaster and Stillman note that a Millennial’s relationship with his parents is the template for interaction with other older adults and authority figures.

If you can objectively observe or ascertain from his comments how a Millennial interacts with his parents, you may uncover clues on how he hopes to relate to you as an older colleague.

If your new hire sees his parents as a perpetually available resource, he may expect the same from you. If he is open to their counsel and coaching, he may readily accept the same from you as his mentor.

Accept the fact that you will have to spend extra time and attention on the Millennials, which can be burdensome at times. However their enthusiasm for your input may leave you feeling more gratified than grumpy.

Next: The single greatest complaint about Milleninals from employers

Sources: The M- Factor: How the Millennial Generation is Rocking the Workplace” by Lynne C. Lancaster and David Stillman (Harper Collins, 2010)

PWC.Com – Millennials in the Work Place – Reshaping the World https://www.pwc.com/gx/en/managing-tomorrows-people/future-of-work/assets/reshaping-the-workplace.pdf

 

Millennial sense of entitlement, and enhancing performance in workplace

What is the single greatest complaint leveled against Millennials?

Many employers would say a “sense of entitlement” that is entirely out of proportion to this generation’s age and experience.

As the authors of “The M-Factor” say, “This generation shows signs of being far too impressed with their own value and importance.”

Now, I acknowledge this trait is tempered by individual personalities. While one Millennial may exude “cockiness and arrogance” that turns off even his/her peers, another one is a model of humility.

Despite their intelligence and competency in many areas, the Millennial has a lot to learn. But, in a different time in a different way, didn’t we all?

Millennials may expect to advance quickly. Once they have mastered their current responsibilities, they want to be promoted to higher positions or greater responsibility NOW.

They often have a very low tolerance for the mundane work that usually falls to the lowest rung of the workplace ladder. They don’t understand the concept of seniority, and to them that is an anathema of their value system. They value capability over experience and believe that a fresh, young perspective is always more valuable.

The ideas of “doing your time” within a role and job and “paying your dues” just do not make sense to them and are at odds with their expectations.

In my mind, members of this generation can be overly-sensitive. This can certainly be a factor in their employment lives.

Let’s remember that many of the parents of the M-Generation believed and practiced that praise and self-esteem were the first priorities in parenting and teaching realms. The child learns that if you play on the little league baseball team, you get a trophy for showing up. Turn in your homework, and get a gold star for turning something in with your name on it regardless of the content.

While effort is important and trying your best is important, life, and certainly the business world, does not necessarily hand out trophies for these worthy attributes.

This article looks at the key criteria necessary to minimize conflict and enhance performance in the work place when working with Millennials.

First, when recruiting and interviewing don’t promise more than you can deliver.

When hiring a member of the M-Generation, be realistic about the work that he will do.

Present a potential M-Generation employee with an exact description of the job. You want to make sure that he/she understands that the job may not include conducting the weekly briefings.

Second, take advantage of the positive view of the M-Generation’s desire to do more and to tackle larger responsibilities.

Take advantage of their eagerness and strong desire to be involved, and reward these traits whenever you can.

Always give M-Generation employees specific parameters to work within, clarify what they will be held accountable for, what the schedule and deadline is, and then let them engage.

Finally, determine what “reward” is in the M-Generation new hire’s mind.

For the Millennial, rewards don’t have to be big to be meaningful. A simple gesture will go a long way. Recently in talking with an Assistant Chief of Police, he told me his Millennials want to be called by their first names, asked about their family (yes, you will need to remember the wife’s name and the kids’ names), and they want to be praised for being to work on time.

Baby Boomers and GenXers are often confused and bewildered by the simple things that Millennials don’t know about living and working as an adult.

Research shows that the most common problems include unfamiliarity with workplace etiquette, what are appropriate communication venues, and what boundaries should exist between professional, personal and private matters.

However, our biggest concerns may be associated with the M-Generations’ use of social media. Often Millennials are not discrete about what they post on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. The photos and comments they may put online after a weekend beach trip with their college buddies may cause you some alarm.

To deal with this behavior and not exacerbate the situation or create high blood pressure for yourself, you must learn to accept that is the new “norm” while learning how to negotiate a mutually acceptable working arrangement with these employees.

Does this mean we will just have to agree with such behavior? No.

Although we believe these “kids” should know this stuff already, they don’t. The smart thing to do is to understand the Millennial sense of what is appropriate. Then take the time to communicate the guidelines and rules – written and unwritten – for professional etiquette and interaction in your organization.

The upside to all of this is that most Millennials enjoy being coached and mentored – remember they had a unique relationship with their parents and teachers in this regard. Offer them pointers and tips on workplace etiquette.

You will probably find that they are grateful for advice that will help them move up the professional ladder and achieve the greater responsibilities that they want. It can be a win-win situation.

L. Darryl Armstrong is a crisis prevention and management consultant. He is reachable at 1-888-340-2006 or drdarryl@aol.com. His website is www.ldarrylarmstrong.com. He is available on a limited basis for speaking engagements and workshops.

Sources: The M- Factor: How the Millennial Generation is Rocking the Workplace” by Lynne C. Lancaster and David Stillman (Harper Collins, 2010)

PWC.Com – Millennials in the Work Place – Reshaping the World https://www.pwc.com/gx/en/managing-tomorrows-people/future-of-work/assets/reshaping-the-workplace.pdf

Mark Twain would be Proud of Paul Wolff

Tybee Island residents and its city government lost a good man this week when Paul Wolff, a multi-term city councilman lost his re-election by less than a handful of votes.

Finding public servants of the caliber of Paul is difficult in our society. Paul was one of the rare breed that understood the importance of opening and maintaining dialogue on all issues whether they were controversial or not, the importance of ‘informed consent,’ and the art of consensus-building, if not compromise.

We have had the privilege of knowing Paul for most of two decades, and even though politically we are often worlds apart, I have great respect and admiration for this Vanderbilt-educated renaissance of a fellow.

There are those who would say Paul is progressive and liberal; just as there are those who would say I am conservative and a libertarian. I have never much cared for labels rather I prefer Paul’s approach to being a public servant. He is a gentleman who is willing to have an open, honest and spirited conversation about any subject and that my friends can lead to better decision-making on a diversity of issues.

Being a public figure especially one that is in an elected office in any community is not an enviable position. I know that personally because I was a public servant at the executive federal level for almost 20-years. As Paul, and others find out you no longer have much of a private life once you engage in public service; if you have the pathological need to be liked by everyone you also have no business being in public service.

Much like Paul, I set about trying to help government and its elected and employed officials better understand different constituent viewpoints. I sought and developed processes to gather as much data and information as possible so that we could make better decisions especially on those issues that directly affected the people that we served.

I understood and yet became very frustrated with the many different internal and external political agendas and that eventually wore me down and I voluntarily left for the private sector where I have been now almost 22-years.

However, then and now as a practicing informed-consent professional I went about as did Paul the often arduous task of opening and sustaining dialogue, building coalitions and seeking to understand all sides of an issue before presenting alternative solutions and certainly before making a decision.

I found however even after such well-meaning efforts that many decisions were not made in the best interest of the community rather decisions were made as to what was in the best interest of the agency, or the ranking politicos at the time.

Paul brought to the Tybee city council an even-tempered, diplomatic and inquiring approach to consideration of issues when at times others simply tested the limits of patience. There is nothing new or even unique about follies in locally elected bodies, it is what it is and it always shall be. All politics are local, Tip O’Neil reminded us and so that is the way life is whether at Tybee Island or the heart of New York City.

What was refreshing about Paul was to see more reasoned, deliberate, ethical and thoughtful approaches to the workings of a local government and for that all taxpayers on Tybee Island can be thankful.

I believe Paul has much to be proud of in the service he provided during his tenure and the model of reasoned approach that he chose to follow is one that the current city council would be wise to adopt.

I have come to believe in my maturity that it is people like Paul that help us all see different visions and paths to solutions to the often controversial and thorny problems we face. I came to understand that even when Paul’s opinions varied greatly from my own, that he actively listened and integrated divergent viewpoints into his thinking and that is rare in the partisan world in which we live.

Whatever Paul does next he will do it with energy, compassion, and passion and he will continue to be a contributor to the wacky little island.

Like many of us who have been in the arena many times before, it is best that we tried to advance thinking and action rather than to sit idly on the sidelines. So, I advise my “brother of another mother” to not take the political winds of fortune personally.

Sometimes, as my partner has said, it seems the society in which we live and work is conspiring against good-willed people and their well-intentioned ways and that even those who work on our behalf sometimes don’t seem to do us the favor they intend.

Perhaps, more so than anyone Mark Twain sums up Paul Wolff when he wrote, “An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere.”

Semper fi brother, DrD

Eight steps for diffusing anger

“I am mad as hell and I am not going to take this anymore!” said Howard Beale, the long-time news anchor for the USB evening news in the 1976 movie, “Network.”

In today’s environment, many of our customers and clients, when their anger is not handled properly, can and do become “mad as hell!”

In the world we live in today, it is more important than ever to understand how to diffuse anger when dealing with a customer or client. The same techniques can be used when dealing with the anger of a family member or even a stranger you meet in the parking lot.

This article is not meant to scare you. It is intended, however, to raise your awareness about what it means to live in a world where anger can and often is expressed in terms of violence. These techniques will help you be prepared to deal with that anger.

First, we should all recognize that complaints are OK because, at the very least, the customer is letting us know what the problem is.

I would much rather know what the problem is because then I can work toward a solution. If I don’t know what the problem is, there is no way to make things right. We must remember, though, not to become defensive when the customer is telling us their issues with the product or service.

Statistics demonstrate that if a complaint is well handled, the customer will be more loyal than he or she was before they complained. And we may have learned something constructive for our business.

Second, try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

It becomes critically important to understand the other person’s point of view. We must accept the fact that he or she is entitled to their point of view, although it may be totally different from our own.

Third, let the person tell their story.

The best medicine for upset people is to let them vent. Use your listening skills and give the person a chance to express their feelings. Draw him or her out with questions, or noncommittal and empathetic remarks like “I see” or “I can see why you are upset” or “I can understand why you would feel this way.” This will help calm the customer while revealing some points of agreement or settlement that are important in leading to a solution.

Fourth, learn to listen.

It is not enough to sit passively while a person talks. You have to listen with the mind (as well as the ears), looking for the paths that lead to understanding and problem solving. Be careful not to give a reply before the person is ready. Until someone with a problem has completely vented his or her feelings, they will not be ready to listen to a solution!

Fifth, be empathetic not sympathetic.

Be sure to use empathetic language that illustrates you are trying to understand the caller’s point of view. Sympathy and empathy are both acts of feeling, but with sympathy you feel sorry for the person without truly understanding the what and why of their feelings. Empathy is a much more active process, and it takes work and imagination to get there. See the above.

Sixth, speak the person’s language.

It won’t help to use terms common to your profession or company when dealing with a person who is upset.

Find words he or she will understand when talking about your service. The goal is to communicate. Listen carefully to the person and take notes. If they say they “think” the product or service is defective, reflect back to them that you “understand their thinking”. However, if a person says “they don’t feel good about the service”, this person is emotive so use “feeling” language when responding to them.

Seventh, whatever you say, say it with respect.

Courtesy, respect and consideration are all shown by using a friendly tone of voice and a set of behaviors which show the person that you consider him or her a person worthy of respect. A controlled volume to your voice and a choice of words that will be meaningful to your listener can make all the difference. See above.

Finally, diligently work to make the person “feel” important.

You may hear the same complaint or problem frequently. Just imagine how many times counter agents at airports must hear the same compliant over and over. However, this person may have only told it once. So we must listen patiently. Learning the person’s name and using it in the conversation is helpful also.

We are often reminded as children of the “Golden Rule.” It certainly applies in business, yet perhaps more in the sense that author and longshoreman Eric Hoffer (1902-1983) was quoted as saying:

“The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves.”

Keep in mind that how we react to what is happening can define whether the outcome is positive or negative. What you have learned about handling anger can influence your success in business and your safety in the world. When our behaviors demonstrate these interpersonal skills, we will succeed.

 

THE DELTA AIRLINES CRISIS

Let’s give DELTA AIRLINES the opportunity to investigate this situation BUT IF it even remotely seems close to what happened according to this Lt. Col. let us as consumers remember that we have options and let us exercise our rights. Customer service is the only thing that can set aside in either a positive or negative way our experiences on an airline any more. We will keep you posted as this story develops.

MARINE DOUBLE AMPUTEE ‘HUMILIATED’ TO POINT OF TEARS ON DELTA FLIGHT GETS HELPING HAND FROM FELLOW VETS

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/marine-double-amputee-humiliated-to-point-of-tears-on-delta-flight-gets-helping-hand-from-fellow-vets/

Each impression you make will – temporarily, at least – be your last. Always make it strong!

Each impression you make will – temporarily, at least – be your last. Always make it strong. – Harry Beckwith author of Selling the Invisible

My Grandfather worked in timber. He “marked” trees for people and told them how much they most likely would get when they sold the timber at market.

He always wore a freshly pressed pair of khaki pants; a pressed white or blue work shirt, nicely maintained suspenders and even his work boots were cleaned and polished each day before calling on his customer.

I asked him one day why he went so such extremes to just go out into the woods.

He gave me this sage advice. Son always recognize that you make a first and last impression every time you meet with a client.

In repeated studies, according to Harry Beckwith, people shown a sequence of items – pictures of an apple, pear, peach, prune and pomegranate, for example – are most apt to remember the apple and the pomegranate. They easily remember the first thing shown to them and the last but most forgot what was in the middle.

Beckwith notes that the rule of last impressions is reflected in many ways. Consider apologies and forgiveness, as an example. The last impression a person makes, by apologizing for a mistake, often obscures the person’s memory of the event that led to the apology.

Make your last impression as strong as your first.

Until next time …

The Lost Art of Listening

The other day at the airport I was sitting and reading a business article and enjoying my coffee.

A man, whom I had never met name sat down beside me. I acknowledged him non-verbally and then he started talking and talking and talking. He really didn’t stop talking for almost 10-minutes about a bad experience he had just that morning at breakfast and the terrible service he received. I listened intently.

Finally, as his business companion approached, he summed up his experience with my “listening” by saying, “You know you would make a good therapist. Thanks for listening.”

His name is George, He is a CEO of a major company in Atlanta. He gave me his card and I shared mine. I told him listening was no problem. I told him I have a great deal of practice. You see a good facilitator is a better listener.

As my grandfather always said, “God gave us two ears nd one mouth.” The next time your client or even a stranger needs to talk take the time to listen – it is a lost art.